I’ve returned to Delhi, where it all began. When I first arrived, I was shellshocked and filled with fear. Now, I’ve got a swagger to my walk. It’s not my first rodeo. I’ve been weathered, hardened with time. I decided to explore new parts of the city today. I decided to move like a local and take the metro. I figured out the ticketing system and made my way to my train. It was all too easy. I know this place like the back of my hand. My train pulled into the station and I hopped on the train-car, cool, confident and mysterious in demeanor. Well, well, well… lots of beautiful women on the metro today, I see.
Hello, ladies.
They looked at me in surprise. Probably thinking: Who is this handsome guy? Does he live here? He moves like a local.
I gave a little wink to one of them to seal the deal.
That’s right, sweetheart, I know my way around the city.
Suddenly a police officer ran on board, yelling, frightening the women. My instinct to protect kicked in.
Don’t worry, ladies, I’ll handle this.
He was furious, screaming in Hindi, and it began to seem like I was the target of his rage. I looked behind me to see who he might be yelling at. He came face to face with me and continued his attack. He was demanding that I get off the train. I laughed at him and pulled out my ticket.
Look, buddy, I got a ticket. I know what I’m doing.
I leaned back against the pole with nonchalance and scanned the train to see if any of the women on board were impressed with my conflict-resolution abilities. The man persisted. I refused to budge – I became the guardian of the train, protector of passengers. To my surprise, the ladies seemed to be taking his side. He pulled me off the train by my arm and pointed to the next car up and gave me a push. I stumbled to the fully packed car. People were pushing, pulling, and squeezing their way onboard, almost exclusively men. That’s when it all dawned on me: I was on the women-only train car. I was practically holding them hostage. It was meant to be a safe-haven for women, and I perverted it with my conceited ways – I am the danger. I was humiliated. I spent the next few minutes in shame, standing pressed up against a train full of men, breathing hot air onto each other’s faces. I began laughing to myself. I tried to hold it in, but everyone could see my unprovoked smile and suppressed laughter, which only made me laugh harder. I really thought I had it all figured out.
Absolutely mortifying hahahaha
When you realize pimpin’ ain’t easy…